did you get engaged???
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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