I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Randomize
