Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
