I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize