We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
