You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
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