all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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