You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
