I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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