I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
