In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
