The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
