My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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