so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize