He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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