How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Randomize
