There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
All I want is dick and wine.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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