remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
