and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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