Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
