i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
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