i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Randomize
