I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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