lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Randomize
