it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
