just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Randomize
