I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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