Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize
