youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
