i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Randomize
