so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
i think im in europe. pls send help
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
