Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
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