..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
