I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Are we still banned from the library?
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
