hell yes lets make some ravioli
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
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