You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
