I hate all girls vehemently.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
