We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
