i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
