went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
sarcasm needs its own font
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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