The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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