You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
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