i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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