dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
ttyl tear gas
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
