I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Randomize
