And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
