I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
