I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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