it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
