Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Randomize
