Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
