so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
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