i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
