A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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