She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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