so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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