is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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