Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
