And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
