I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
I don't think brook has ever known best
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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