yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
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