It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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