Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
this hospital has no fireball
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
